Occupy Your Life

What are the Occupy protests really about and what are they doing to create change?

The protests seem to be a response to a long-building slow boil of individual feelings of inequality which have become a part of a more communal consensus.  These feelings while generalised, are in response to larger activities such as those performed by Governments, which seem to favour those who are more successful, larger, richer, well-connected, and so on.  They are targeted at the “1%”.

The people who are dedicating their time to these movements, who have self-identified as the “99%”, apparently representing the feelings and needs of all of us “everyday folk”, feel that while they represent a group which is the majority, they are not being treated with equality.

The protests are doing their job, in a sense, arousing awareness of the fact that many people are unhappy with their current lot in life, and are willing to do something – drastic, even – about it.  However, the movements and their protests are so vague and large that they are not able to effectively create any change.

Perhaps that is okay, if only those protesting could acknowledge the role these demonstrations are playing and work with that rather than to force the protests into a greater role of affecting real, specific change.

This first step is useful in that it signals to others that efforts are going to be made to affect change.  Just as in our own individual pursuits of positive change, the next reasonable step should be to create sub groups for each of the specific problems or complaints and work toward specific actionable goals within each of those groups, utilising the passions and powers of those people directly involved in the campaigns.  In this way, some groups might begin to see ways in which to affect change, and some changes might actually be made.

However, as things stand currently, the large super groups are beginning to seem disorganised, immature and confused, and no changes are being made because no actionable requests are being made and no real discussions are being had.  Instead, this potentially powerful movement has done nothing more than confuse and disappoint the protestors and confuse and infuriate the protested upon.

And nothing positive is happening.  Both groups are becoming more exasperated with one another, further decreasing the odds that anything productive will come of all this.

What we must do instead is not to Occupy Wall Street, or to Occupy Toronto or to Occupy any place.  What we must do is Occupy Our Lives.

We must be fully present in all of our actions, choices and activities.  We must make conscious choices about the things we will buy, the systems we will support, the objections or affirmations we make, the politicians we vote for, the activities we engage in.  Large protests might make a fuss, but small actions made by everyone can and will make a difference.

As the majority, it was our voices, our choices and our actions which got us to this breaking point in the first place. Or, perhaps, for many of us, it was our silence, our absence or our inaction which got us here. How many of us can truthfully say that we are satisfied with our own levels of engagement in our own lives, communities and cities?  If we are the 99%, we had better start acting like it and take in the full power of this opportunity to create positive change and not just continue to be positively powerless.

Creatively Yours,

How to Choose the RIGHT Halloween Costume for YOU

1. Spend some time thinking – without regrets – of all the other things you could have grown up to be.  Think about the things you still might grow up to do.  Pick the one that seems most unlikely.  Create a costume based on that from your own wardrobe and things you already have around the house.  Practice doing things in it that your character would do.  Feel yourself become that person.  Now stop, because you have now realised that what you previously thought was so farfetched, really isn’t.  Come on, you can be way more creative than that!
2. Dress up in the sexiest thing you own.  Go out and buy something even sexier. Prance around the house in it, wearing a short black vixen wig and hot red lipstick.  Imagine that you are the answer to your love interest’s every fantasy.  You go, girlfriend! Now stop, because you look ridiculous, covering up your true beauty and intelligence in that silly getup. 
3. Think of the cleverest, most intelligent play on words you can.  Try to add in some politics to that if you can. Find a way to represent that using props and clothing, something that will keep everyone at the party guessing all night.  Now stop, because you are thinking so much that you’ll forget to have fun and no one will want to play with you.
4. Glue gun two little black triangles to a headband and paint some adorable whiskers and a pink little nose on your face.  Complete the look with your favourite LBD or leggings and you’re good to go!  No one can resist a cuddly cute little kitten!  Now stop, because a) you’ve worn this at least twice before, once while in grade school, and b) you are so much more creative than that! (Note: adding a rainbow and pop tart to this is not any more creative.)
5. Think of the funniest, silliest, most random costume you can.  Extra points for using cardboard boxes, full body jumpsuits, rainbow-coloured fun-fur, sparkly wings and wiggly eyes on headbands.  Put it all on together and dance around your apartment.  Shake your groove thang like no one’s watching.  Do the Robot! Now stop, because people are watching and you’re acting like someone you totally are not.  Quietly slip out of the fun fur wings.
6. Get tough.  Strap on some body armour and fake chestplate muscles and wear the tightest, shiniest lycra your money can buy (you won’t need a lot, it’s just for a loincloth!)  Puff out your chest and raise your arms – don’t forget the cape, guns, helmet, knee high boots and ancient sword.  Strap on a fabric headband for full effect.  Now stop, because all that posturing is going to make your ego sore in the morning.  No one has ever proven their toughness by wearing spandex.
7. Throw your hands up in desperation, blow your hair out of your eyes, dust off that loose feather, and kick the cardboard boxes out of the way.  That’s it; you’re not going to dress up as anything.  You’re going to do the anti-costume.  You’re going to be you, on a bad hair day.  Or you’re going to carry around a paper airplane or leaf in one of those trendy aircraft carrier/leaf blower costumes.  Fun-Schmun! Who says you have to wear a costume anyway, that’s so lame! Now stop, because you’re letting a fun night out with friends get the best of you. 
8. Return to the previous costume I made you take off – the one you’ve been thinking about this whole time.  The one I ridiculed and you got angry at me about.  The one you are planning to defend by writing me angry comments. That’s the costume for you.  I won’t judge, I promise.  I’ll be wearing one of them, too. 

No matter what, selecting a costume is about having fun and showing a different side of you to the world.  It’s easy to get caught up in the “rules” of it all, and you should be aware of the negative aspect of each idea because if you don’t feel comfortable in your costume, trust me –you will go over to the dark side.  Ultimately though, Halloween is about breaking those rules, stepping outside of your comfort zone and being brave – in the silliest way possible.  Have fun being you! (You still might want to lay off of that lycra thong though – I’m just saying . . . !)

Creatively Yours,

Gratitude not Platitudes

I woke up this morning with a cat on my head.  Her furry little belly throbbed in and out in a contented purr as one paw stretched out indulgently down across my face and cupped my chin with a tiny flex of her claws.  Purr.

I am thankful for the gentle love I receive daily in my life.  I am grateful for the opportunities I have created to share my love and help bring others (kitties included) peace and comfort.

After sleeping in under the late morning sunshine in my bedroom overlooking Lake Ontario, I got up from bed and stumbled into the day.  My home was serene, the day open and inviting, and I was able to spend the morning luxuriating on the couch enjoying the company of my incredible fiancée.

I am thankful for the lifestyle that I lead, the simple luxuries that I share with the love of my life, and the future that we are building together, one day at a time.

We didn’t have a Thanksgiving Feast this year, despite the fact that harvest vegetables, rich sauces, savoury meats and spicy desserts are my absolute favourite foods.  I’ve been working through some health problems, which made such a lavish feast out of the question for me this year, so instead we feasted on the sights, sounds and simple pleasures of the day.  A pumpkin spice candle a dear friend had gifted me served to satiate the senses.

I am thankful for my health, even at its worst, and for the fact that I have the opportunities and resources to improve upon it and enhance the quality of my life. I am grateful for those special people in my life who are there to support and soothe me when times are tough, and to help me continue to thrive.

We snuggled the kitties in close (crazy cat lady alert: I have three!) and spent the night watching movies, discussing dreams and making plans.

I am thankful for the passion I have and the intelligence I have cultivated and the wisdom I have gained through every right and wrong decision I have made.  I am grateful for the as yet undiscovered passions, knowledge and life lessons that await me.

Thanksgiving isn’t just about sharing resources and enjoying bountiful harvests together.  In fact, throughout history, Thanksgiving Day in Canada has been celebrated to rejoice in safe passages, homecomings and times of peace.  We share a rich history for which we should all be grateful, but most importantly, we have before us a rich life full of potential and opportunities.  Let’s revel in that together and seek out our gratitude before we give in to the simple platitudes. Our lives will be better for it, our toasts will be more expressive, and our pumpkin pie will be just as tasty.

I am thankful for you and the support you have given me in this creative endeavour.  I am grateful for the opportunity to share the process with you.

Creatively Yours,

Your Own Art Within

Someone asked me last week why I had chosen to use such a clean and simple design for a company committed to nurturing creativity and inspiring individuals.  What it comes down to is that I want my words to be what stand out.

I could easily have created a dazzling background with multiple features, links and gadgets – and rest assured when you join our Online Creative Community that we’re launching soon, you’ll find all of that inside – but what I really wanted for this blog was to offer you a blank slate from which you could draw inspiration and create your own dazzling design.

I want the ideas behind my words to matter more than how I say them, so that you might create from them your own unique perspective and transform those ideas into countless new artistic explorations.  I don’t want you to look at me – I want you to look into the page as though it were a mirror, to see the definitions, the features and the sparkle in your eyes and to find your own beauty and art within.  

Creatively Yours,

A Living Vision Board

Vision boards are great.  They’re beautiful, inspirational, and a fabulous way to spend an afternoon if you have no better action to take.

Oh wait, except that you do.

You know, all those pesky goals you have, represented there in shiny catalogue cut-outs and shiny happy people pictures?  Yeah, they’re calling to you.  You spent so much time carefully cutting around their edges, matting them on pretty scrapbook papers, adding glitter for emphasis, and arranging them just so in the flow of things.

If only you could find that same dedication and time for actually pursuing those goals.

I know, a vision board is a way of getting around that.  It’s a way of focussing your intentions and placing them into your subconscious so that you will effortlessly achieve them.  You don’t need to do any work.  You’ve just cut out and glittered and labelled everything, that’s work enough!

And it is, in a way.

A vision board is a great first step to achieving your goals, but just to be clear here, it is only a first step.  When you put something on your vision board, and then later find yourself celebrating that achievement, it may seem to have happened as if by magic.  The vision board works!

But really, it has done nothing more than help you to focus and specify your goals, which you then, in some way, take action toward.  (Usually.  Sometimes things really do happen as if by magic, and that’s great, really, but that’s not typical.)

So how are you supposed to use a vision board?  Is it worth it at all, or just another new-agey fad? Surely it has some usefulness, right?

It does.  Or, at least, it can.

So let’s review:  You’ve carefully selected and cut out images which best represent your desires, dreams and goals.  You’ve arranged them in a way that is both pleasing and also cohesively organised, for maximum success.  You’ve even found a place on your wall to feature this artistic creation of yours, to daily inspire you to action and also “imprint your subconscious”.  And now you’re back to going about your day, just as before.  Perhaps you’ve found some success, perhaps not.

What I suggest, is going even further with it.

Create a living, evolving vision board.  Make sub-boards.  Write lists and make plans, organised and visually appealing.  Divide your goals up into smaller chunks, creating actionable goals within each greater goal.  Don’t stop.  Engage all of your senses in the creation of your ideal life on paper.  Glitter and glue things onto your life; if everything in your day was as beautiful as your vision board, don’t you think you’d want to spend more time doing those things instead?

Feeling negativity from your boss?  Imagine drawing a big red smile across his face and see how much better you feel.  Think you deserve some extra recognition?  Stick a bunch of gold stars on you and watch the smiles as people notice you and your joyful self-love.  Can’t stand your cat’s grumpy attitude?  Well . . . let’s be realistic here, not everything in your life is going to improve all at once, there are limits to the magical powers of glitter.

What I suspect you’ll discover from this exercise is that a) glitter is the coolest thing ever invented, and b) the more you add to your living vision board, the more ways you will find to actually achieve your goals.  You will discover that all along, you knew the steps you need to take to make things happen.  You will discover, also, that you have an unlimited source of creative energy within you, that you can use not only to cut out pretty things and glue them together, but also to achieve your goals.

You will discover that your life is a vision board, and every action you take will further decorate it, filling in the blank spaces with grand achievements, happy memories and simple pleasures.

Creatively Yours,

A Typical Workday

As I write this, I am sitting outside on the thirty-second floor balcony of my waterfront condo in downtown Toronto, overlooking the harbour, with Lake Ontario fading out across the horizon.  Elegant white sailboats dance across the water, a paraglider can be seen in the distance playing in between the islands, and the city busily hums beneath me – an orchestra of traffic, trains and tourists.

I’m drinking a chocolate raspberry gourmet coffee and nibbling on some homemade chocolate almond croissants.  My three cats are lazing around throughout the living room, sprawling out in the beams of sunshine from our floor to ceiling windows.

I’ve got some new music playing that I’ve just discovered, and it’s drifting out across the breeze.  My feet are up and I’m wearing a pretty flowing skirt, enjoying these last bits of summer in the city.

This is not my day off; this is a typical workday for me.

I’m telling you this, not to brag or make you jealous, but to demonstrate how good life can be.  My life isn’t perfect, I’m not trying to be one of those asinine marketers who show you pictures of their ocean front properties, BMVs and the wads of cash they carry around in their pockets to say that you, too, can have this life if only you do what they say, in four easy payments of . . .

No.

I work hard, and I make sacrifices, and I am an expert at transforming ordinary things into extraordinary things.  I do not have everything I’ve ever wanted, but I do have a lot of great things in my life that I love and appreciate, and I am so grateful for them.

Over the years, I’ve worked in many different environments.  I’ve worked in homeless shelters and community centres, parks and cubicles, private schools and inner city alternative youth centres.  Ultimately, I decided that I wanted to have control over what I did – and didn’t do – each day as I worked.  I was aware that my environment directly affected the quality of my life and so I made the choice to work from home – though that sometimes means a park, my favourite café, or even on the beach in Mexico.

That was my priority, and it has made all the difference in terms of not only how I work, but how much I enjoy my work.

Not everyone will have the same flexibility as I was fortunate enough to have.  Some careers require a very specific work environment and so sometimes you will not have control over when and where you work.  There are choices you have within that though, so be aware of that power you hold.

Many of the details I mentioned in my workplace description above were fortunately a feature of my work environment.  Many were not: the type of coffee I am drinking, the comfortable clothing I am wearing, my relaxed posture.  All of these things and many more are within your control, and frequently, they will make the most difference to you.  In fact, merely recognising that you have control and choices can often make an enormous difference in your personal satisfaction.

I challenge you to do what I have; take control of, and appreciate your environment.  Take a moment to describe the positive features of your environment, and savour them.  If there are things which bother you – however small, do what you can to change them.  If you work in a grey slab cubicle, bring in some throw pillows or artwork.  Change out that aggravating ticking clock on the wall to a more pleasing artistic clock installation, or find another less intrusive way of acknowledging the time altogether.  Rejoice in your ability to control the things you can, and you just might find that everything else becomes easier and more enjoyable.

Creatively Yours,

There’s Just Something About Mondays

And it’s not that they come after Sunday, because Sunday isn’t so hot itself, in my books.  I start my work week on Sunday.  Monday is the day when I enter into everyone else’s work weeks.  I just don’t like Mondays.

In fact, I’m really not a fan of beginnings in general.  Don’t get me wrong ~ I love starting things.  I love the fresh idea, the new project and the smell of the air in the morning.  I love starting things.

What I’m not too keen on is the beginning of things.  Introducing them to others.  Collectively pursuing a new direction.  I like to be the ideas person, to spawn the idea, not to incubate it.  I love the energy that comes from thinking for the first time of something.

The problem is that I am a perfectionist.  I love to see a blank page.  Or a perfectly typed, spaced and justified document.  I like to see patterns line up, and I hate to see any markings or blemishes.  I like it when everything flows smoothly; I pick the dried bits off of my tools and obsessively clean away any sticky marks from price tags or labels.  I like everything to work together harmoniously, the way that I intend for it to be.

The initial moments of an idea, the start of it, is all about this.  In many ways, the start is exactly like the ending: you envision what you want to have happen, then you do things, and then you get what you saw coming.

I don’t like beginnings because that’s when everything falls apart.  That’s when other things interfere, or those nagging inner critics start to create doubt and anxiety.  That’s when the materials fail or the process has kinks or there just isn’t enough time or money or energy to do everything we wanted to do.  That’s when it all falls apart and I don’t like it.

But I need it.

I need that messy middle time not only to ensure that I get to where I am going, but also to help inspire me.  Because as much as I can say that I don’t like when things fall apart, that is the time when I shine the brightest.

You see, how would I be able to perfect something were it not already imperfect?  How would I be able to find the harmony without there first being dissonance?

Because I dislike when things fall apart, I have developed incredible skills in rebuilding them.  It would be easy for me, in a moment of chaos, to be upset that everything is falling apart, but it would be wisest of me to appreciate the opportunity in front of me to utilize my strongest skills.

This is a lesson I am constantly learning, as I continue to grow, develop and become better at failing gracefully.  It has become almost clichéd to say that it is at our darkest hour that we shine the brightest.  Of course we do, we have to if we want to survive.  We must push the hardest when times are most difficult, and we must be better than every one of our worst problems.  We have no choice but to become better. 

Perhaps we are looking at it all wrong though.  Perhaps when it feels as though everything is falling apart and we are forced to be so strong, it is really an opportunity that we have set up for ourselves to ensure that we have the necessary stimulus to continue to succeed.

Fridays and Saturdays will no doubt always feel like the best days of the week, but if you really think about it, they wouldn’t be anything without the struggles brought to us by Mondays.

There really is just something about Mondays.

Creatively Yours,

 

 

They Already Do Like You

The other day, a good friend of mine was over and we were discussing over coffee how shy we both feel when meeting new people.  Yes, that’s right, I am a shy person.  Or at least, I can be.  I love talking with people, and I love nurturing relationships, however I too sometimes quiver at the thought of walking up to a stranger and introducing myself.  I prefer to stand back a bit from the crowd, observing and enjoying the energy of the event.  When approached, I light up, comfortable in my space and already feeling as though I know a little something about the person who has approached me.  And, of course, they approached me, so that helps the ego a bit too.

The problem that I sometimes come across – both in myself and in many of my clients – is that we try too hard, or get too excited in these situations.

We’re “on’.

For me, it typically comes from me getting excited to discover common interests or areas where we could help one another, or simply finding another person with whom I feel an immediate connection.  And so, I begin to gush and chatter, trying to fit as much value as possible into the potentially short amount of time in which we have to talk.  I am always so eager to share, that I sometimes go overboard and share too much too quickly.

Knowing this about myself, it is an area in which I focus a lot of my own self-improvement.  I don’t want to restrict the flow of a new connection, but I do want to slow down a bit more and enjoy the journey as much as possible.

My friend was experiencing something very similar.  She had noticed that in those sorts of situations, she would either shut right down or go completely overboard and later was embarrassed by the misrepresentation of her otherwise calm and intriguing personality.  Crippled by her shyness, she would attempt to overcome it by telling and not showing.  Or, she would not try at all, already defeated by her own fear of not being accepted.

And then she came to a realisation.

It suddenly occurred to her that people already like her.  Not just her friends, who are incredibly supportive, loving and amazing in their own right, but also strangers.  She realised that a stranger has no reason to dislike her.  They typically would not know anything about her, and in any case, it is to their benefit to enjoy her company, as it might result in their own happiness.

We all know that people are selfish and prone to making choices which they believe will bring them the most happiness.  It simply is illogical to want to dislike someone who you don’t yet know.

And so, my friend discovered that the new people she meets are really already her friends.  They start off liking her, and will continue to do so until she tells them not to.  That was the part she was having trouble with, where she would clam up or talk too much.  These behaviours, she knew, were not her natural personality, but rather, a defence mechanism she had contrived to protect her from people’s negative opinions.  They were her attempts to make people like her.  The problem was, they already did like her, and so her actions at best would have no additional effect, and at worst, could potentially negatively affect her chances of actually being liked.

Instead of responding to her irrational fears of not being liked, my friend is now working to accept the truth of situations, that people really do like her, and that there is nothing she has to do to convince them.

How do you react to meeting new people?  Regardless of whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, are shy or love being the centre of attention (or both, like me!), the best thing you can do to make people like you is to not do anything at all.  They already do like you.

Now you just need to learn how to deal with all that extra attention.  It’s a good problem to have.

Creatively Yours,

Just One Wrong Choice

I’m afraid of a lot of things.

I’m afraid of failure.  Afraid of a blank page, afraid of saying too much.  I’m afraid of being alone and afraid of not having enough space of my own.  I’m afraid I’ll never have it all, waste too much time, and I’m also afraid that I’m working too hard and not enjoying life enough.

Sometimes I’ve been afraid of making the wrong decision, so I didn’t make any decision at all.  Sometimes I made too many small decisions, trying to please everyone, and I missed out on what was really important for me.  I’m sure you can relate.

Our days are filled with tiny opportunities that can scare the life out of us.  Everything requires us to make choices – and what if we make the wrong ones?  We need to choose which phone calls to return, which connections to pursue.  We need to choose what outfit to wear to give off the right impression, heck, we need to choose what impression we want to give off.  We need to choose our cell phone carriers, our accessories, our best route to get there and which magazines to read on the way.  We have so many tiny choices, and every one of them seems inordinately important.

Just one wrong choice and everything could be ruined.

The problem is, most of these choices really don’t matter in the long run, and so long as we’re focussed on them, chances are that we’re missing out on the choices that do matter.  The choices that could make us fail.  The choices we don’t even realise that we’re making.

Like this morning when I made the choice to write a blog on this topic instead of another one.  Or yesterday, when I chose to make contact with a small group of important people who I respect and admire, choosing to ignore my fears of rejection and push for my goals.  These are important choices, which are easy to ignore or put off until we feel ready for them, and our handling of them can greatly impact our lives.  But there are more potentially damaging choices than these, even, lurking in the shadows.

There are choices we don’t know we’ve made. 

Choices like staying late at work every night, losing touch with the people we care about and the activities we used to do which made us happy.  Choices like ignoring our health, giving in to unhealthy lifestyles, or pushing ourselves further than our bodies feel comfortable with.  Choices like waiting too long to make a move. These choices are not active, but passive, and so do not feel like choices at all.  These are the things we choose not to deal with, and are typically the ones which bring us down most powerfully.

We must stay aware.  We must recognise the power that we hold to make or to not make choices in our lives.  When it comes down to it, choices can be terrifying to have to make, but not making them can be much, much worse.

Creatively Yours,

After the Rapture

As May 21^st came to a close, leaving countless believers in their respective places, Harold Camping no doubt felt a sense of loss.  The Rapture had come and gone, and he had not.  For years, the radio personality had been predicting this date as the beginning of the ‘end times’, directing his passion – and many people’s money – into the pursuit of this belief.

While most of us are not focussed on such divisive causes, we have all experienced a time in our lives where we have put our hearts – and possibly our souls – into our pursuits.  A time when we have planned and prepared, waited and hoped, believed and been wrong.  We have all tried something and failed at it.

What do we do, after the Rapture has passed us by?  How do we move forward when our best laid plans have failed us?

For Howard, it was a matter of changing his perspective. As an imperfect being, (as we all are) he decided that it was not the day which was wrong, but rather his expectations of it.  He declared that the Rapture had not been a physical exodus but rather a spiritual revolution of sorts.

Sometimes, that is what we must also do.  Sometimes, our expectations of an event lead us to improperly prepare for it.  We then make unnecessary and wounding judgements of ourselves when we do not live up those unrealistic expectations.

In those cases, it is important for us to take a step back and reassess the situation.  Were we expecting too much too soon?  Did we completely ignore the risks we would face?  Were we ignorant of the hard work for which we would be responsible, and the challenges we would need to overcome?

Like Harold Camping, we are sometimes responsible for not only our own expectations, but also those of others who are important to us.  We need not only be practical and realistic, but to also take responsibility for our actions.  This might mean finding the strength from within to say that we were wrong.

Those who listen to you will hear this with the same intensity as your initial expectations, and will respect you for having the courage to share both.

After the Rapture passes you by, you must continue to thrive.  For Harold, this means holding out until what he believes to be the final Judgement Day (October 21^st, 2011).  For you, I should expect a more practical, authentic purpose.  For you, I should expect the Rapture to be present in all that you do, a passion and honesty which helps you blaze forward and carries you to greater heights – despite missteps, setbacks and misunderstandings.

While I do not agree with Harold’s beliefs of the Rapture, one has to respect his determination.  I challenge you to consider, if Harold Camping’s ‘end of times’ warrants such dedication, surely don’t your own goals warrant at least the same?

Creatively Yours,